Good Friend or Best Friend?

Inevitably, throughout life, we meet many people and we make many new friends (at least I hope you do). Some of these "friends" may be simple acquaintances and some may be a little closer to your heart. However, as you grow older, the need for dependable, reliable friends becomes much more evident. Sometimes, these friends are the ones you've grown up with since you were a wee lad, others are people that you just seem to click with and have a good connection with, and others are just easy to talk to (regardless of the depth in your relationship with them). But, when it boils down to the wire and life just starts to suck more than a black hole (mind you that's pretty bad), you need somebody to lean on that you can trust and that you can depend on.

Now how do you know what makes a "best friend?" First of all, you want a friend who cares about you and one that has your best interests at heart (hopefully its mutual between you, otherwise you're the crappy friend). You also want to make sure that they are completely honest with you. But how do you know that? I learned how to accurately gauge honesty in a person by reading an awesome book called Dateable by Justin Lookadoo (prescribed to me by my brother...go read it!) but anyway, the piece of advice given was this–if they do it for you, they WILL do it to you. For example, if you plan to have a friend spend the night or something and they have to lie to their parents in order for it to happen, they WILL definitely lie to you somewhere down the road when they want something else from you. Another crucial aspect of a best friend is availability. These are the people you can call when you're falling apart at 3am in the morning and can help piece you back together within the hour. Best friends will make themselves available to you no matter the circumstances (you can't depend on a flake, period). To sum this up, a best friend has a strong sense of integrity. A best friend is someone you can trust with anything and everything. This is the type of person that you would die for in a heartbeat without even having to think about it.

Now the things I said above are definitely important and all, but when it comes down to it, these things make you feel good inside as a result of what your "bestie" (yeah I said it) provides you. If they have your best interests at heart or if they are perpetually honest with you, these things benefit you because they are positive, encouraging things. But from what I have experienced and discovered, these are not the things that separate a good friend from a best friend. Sure these are definitely characteristics you want to look for in a friend but this is what a lifelong best friend does most importantly–they tell you when you are wrong. This can be quite difficult for anyone to digest (myself most definitely included) but when someone is close enough to you to tell you when you are wrong and that you need to straighten up, that tells you more about them than anything else they do. When they correct you when you're wondering off the path, they're essentially telling you that they love you so much that they don't want to see you hurt, they are telling you that they are trying to protect you, and they are telling you that they want the best for you. If you see what I'm trying to say it's this–a good friend is there for you when life screws you over, but a best friend is there for you when you screw up your own.

So thank you Ben Jones. You have truly been a blessing from God.

Proverbs 27:9-"Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel."

Proverbs 27:17- "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Proverbs 28:23- "He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue."